Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Your team, my love.

So I had this wonderful day full of 'your teams' and no team to assign them to...! There were just so many that I had to write it down on this receipt so I wouldn't forget any - seriously, it was that great.

#1. I was at the bank waiting in the car for my mom to get back when I saw these two treasures, girl and a guy, walking back to the van that was parked right next to our car. I'm automatically thinking 'Your Team.' - they both looked like red neck inbreds who were probably the product of siblings and were sibling lovers themselves...throw in some down syndrome for the girl. K, so it was much to my pleasure that when they walked to the van they both walked to the my side and the sliding door slid open and inside was this... boy with jacked up teeth and bed head and all around nastiness. Weird thing was that we made eye contact and I don't think my face was one of polite curiosity. Let's just say that the whole damn van was a 'your team'. Oh, and I saw the girl in the passenger seat playing with a screw driver and holding it up reeaally close to her eye for a close inspection..? I think that whole van is full of inbreds.

#2. There's construction on this busy road and there was a line building up from momentary blockage... this truck gets all pissed and like pulls off into one of the parking lots to find a way around (which there's not) and right as he pulls out of the lane the line immediately gets unblocked and this loser is left to turn around in the parking lot and try to squeeze his way back into the line. Nonetheless, he had to wait a long time and Mom and I pointed and laughed at him. Your team!

#3. (the best one)So I went to the BMV today to get another license. We pull in and I'm just looking around when I see this old Buick pull into the parking lot and just....park. Like, not even in a spot? It was like in the main lane entrance to the place and it just stopped mid-driving, parks, and homegirl waltzes out of her car. Did I mention what she was wearing? Classic dope fiend/meth addict/crack whore outfit! Her hair was down and looked tangled and nasty and she was wearing this matty old fur coat and these way too big blue jeans with red heels - AND, and... she was wearing blue eyeliner. WHATVE I SAID ABOUT CHICKS WHO WEAR BLUE EYELINER?! They look like crack whores. Point in case. Alright. So the BMV is ALWAYS busy and there's a line out the door, right? Yeah, Ms. Ho walks right on into the building and stands beside the woman who is being helped until the attendant looks at her and makes her take a seat. I did my business and was waiting for my license to print when I noticed that the crack whore is walking out to her car with a driving instructor - aka SHES TAKING A DRIVING TEST! Homegirl, who can't park straight OR in an actual parking spot is ATTEMPTING to pass a driving test! So Mom and I were watching her and all I saw was the instructor immediately slow her pace when she saw the car, paced around the car, then speak to homegirl for like...5 minutes. They immediately came back inside and all I saw on homegirl's face was this huge frown. I think we can all make our own correct assumptions. I think I'm just grateful she's not getting her license today/not in the near future.

Oh, and my license picture is more of a mugshot. Yessss. I also went to McDonald's this morning after dropping off my siblings and I actually got what I ordered...? Which..is strange... because I'm not used to this kind of service from this particular restaurant..?

2 comments:

chaotime said...

BARRET AND SHAWN'S Team!!!!!! Not mine. LOL

Anonymous said...

really... really moe???