Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sometimes I hate people.

Sometimes I really like cheese. Also, sometimes I really crave things and my most recent past craving was garlic bread. We satisfied that craving - too bad it was super crappy garlic bread.

I have an art project due before Friday. I have no idea how I'm going to execute whatever it is that is in my mind. Sometimes I'm amazed with the difficulty of making art.

I'm getting back into my old school music - old school meaning high school/music I listened to as a younger, littler person. The memories the music brings to mind is such a trip and I love it. Not even just music, but anything. I can wear a shirt today and remember a certain day, time, smell, food, anything associated with a particular time I wore it and honestly I cherish these trips back in time. Can I just give a few examples? Listening to Beautiful Oblivion by Eve 6 reminds me of swim meets and how fun they used to be because once I was at some swim conference or an invite - I don't remember, I was like 10 - and we were sitting in the hallway of this high school with our blankets set up and snack all around and I had burned this CD with like 16 songs of strictly Beautiful Oblivion. Seriously, I was obsessed. I also remember singing the song in my head as I swam my event. Wearing my blue perfume is an automatic reminder of going clubbing with Barret. I'll smell it and I already feel the bass of the music, the smell of smoke, and the general mood that came with clubbing. My favorite shirt used to be my older brother Marvin's before I dug it out of the crawlspace and decided I wanted to make it mine and I remember him hitting me with a dodge ball while he was wearing that shirt at mutual when he was like 12. Sometimes I just want to live my life song by song, memory by memory and skip all the static in between. Sometimes I wish life were that simple and nostalgic. But seriously though, I should get a grip, huh? I think I'm too wistful in my thinking that I live in the past and not really in the future but I think that's what keeps me going some days. I want innovation, not tradition, but I need to find a way to make that happen - exactly the first step to doing just that, yes?

By the way, Staci and Erica are moving out this week. I'm really, really sad about this. The only happy thought though is Sarah, Aubrey, and Camille don't suck. Seriously, if the two girls who move in are douches? Nu uh. Not happening. I can't even fathom... *sigh*.

I hung out with Staci and her friend Corey tonight and we got on the topic of weed and he said something about his social life becoming a lot less social because the high made him like himself in such a way that he didn't feel the need for friends to fill that space. I completely agree. Sometimes I love the silence. Btw, I'm really annoyed. I get annoyed a lot.